Pruning a tree

Do you know why trees get pruned?
Promise, there's a point to this. So hear me out....

Trees get pruned to...

• remove dead, damaged and diseased branches to help prevent insect & decay organisms from entering the tree.

• Remove co-dominant leaders. Co-dominant leaders are 2 branches growing near the top of a tree that grow straight up and become equally dominant. Cutting off one allows the other branch to grow & become the dominant branch. 

• stimulate growth in sparse areas of the tree.

For about a decade and a half I allowed a particular branch in my life to grow wildly and out of control. It was an area of my life that I thought could be maintained with my patience and love. So for a very long time I poured everything into that one branch. It was damaged and diseased, but I never lost hope. Slowly that one branch sucked out all the goodness that could have gone to other areas of my life.

Pruning does wound the tree. Trees don't actually ‘heal’ their wounds. A branch that has been cut off is permanently gone and nothing else grows there. What does happen is that the tree "seals" its wounds. Over time the tree creates some sort of callus around the wound and covers the initial cut. Inside the tree, some chemical boundary is formed around the wounded area which compartmentalizes it. This prevents decay. 

By the time I noticed how toxic that branch was, it was already sensitive and close to dying. It was the first branch of many and many good things came from it. If I tended to it, wouldn't it eventually just get better? "Eventually" became one year, then another, then another. Fourteen years later I was left with nothing but a tree that had stopped growing properly because the diseased branch was taking up too much. The issue wasn't about whether or not something should be done or what. It was when. I never had enough courage to place both feet firmly planted on the ground. Many times over I made the decision to just let it go, but I never could. 

I finally allowed God to be the one to prune me so it could be done properly. It hurt to have Him do it, and it still stings a lot. The cut was sharp, quick and final. I knew that nothing would ever grow there again which is probably why I held off of it for so long. It's unfortunate that I didn't let God have full control until things really started dying, but how else could a stubborn person like me learn? That branch might have been important in the beginning, but I realized how I had to start growing again. I need to grow. 

Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, not can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them. -Matthew 7:17-20

To be honest, I don't know where God is leading me. However, I can be secure in the knowledge that regardless of the place, my feet are facing forward. Everything that has happened to me in the past two years have contained nothing but blessings upon blessings. The Lord has been outpouring His love for me in so many ways and that was while I carried the decaying branch. How much more growth can happen now that I've cut if off?

I'm trying to ask Mama Mary to show me how to be patient. I've been asking her to help me trust in Her Son the same way she did; to obey & to witness. She's had a very strong presence in my life the past two weeks and I can honestly say that this is the first time in twenty-four years I've really acknowledged her. She's done nothing but console me during this most vulnerable time of my life.

I've been allowing myself to be sensitive to the Spirit this past week and this is the message that kept coming up: Yes, healing hurts, but it doesn't have to be torturous. God's timing is so perfect and even throughout this whole ordeal He's allowed me to enjoy the process. He's allowed me to see far greater things than what I was accustomed to. I'm not at my best but my heart is confident because I have a future full of hope.

Lord, thank you for pruning that branch off for me. Now I can truly continue to BLOOM where you have planted me.

Baby, welcome home.

Airplanes suddenly became so interesting to me during this trip. Since I've never stayed more than 3wks in one place for a 6 month period, I just had to learn to love em. My flight yesterday was 23hrs, 10mins in total. I usually get so antsy/panicky that I only use up 6hrs in total for sleeping, but this time it was different. I felt at peace and so calm. I slept through more than half of it and the hours that I spent awake I enjoyed (yum Korean air food and a very lovely old Korean woman seat mate).

A lot of people have seen me cry within the past 72 hrs. Most of the time it's not because I'll miss them (I know I'll be back sooner than later). It's because I've been fearing my return to Canada; how will I integrate the new me into an old life? Yes I left behind a lot of baggage in the Phils. but I also had more to come back to in Toronto. But God is so good that he made sure I would get all the affirmations I needed to believe that as challenging as it will be to be back, I am more than capable of dealing with my skeletons in the closet.

Now the picture above isn't the greatest quality nor is it an artsy-fartsy shot, but it served as the answer to my question.

Moments of profound grace.


The wing of that plane and where it appears in the picture is where God fits into my life. There is the me that hid in darkness, confusion, fear and doubt, but with the Lord now in the centre of my life rest assured I can sigh a big breathe of relief- MORNING IS COMING. No matter how dark I feel my past was and how much ugliness was left behind there is hope that YES, he has purified and cleansed me during this trip. Just as the day is breaking in the sky one day all of it will be filled with light.The plane's wings didn't completely separate the contrasting night/day sky- see how on the far left side, some of the morning is spilling into the night? Beautiful.


There is nothing for me to fear. I always repeat in my blogs and in person that whenever we pray or light up our petitions we shouldn't just ask for it. Instead we should CLAIM that indeed those prayers are already answered. In this way, we show our Lord how great our faith is in Him that even though we don't see the answers yet, they are already there. This world is full of truths that are rooted in faith, love and hope. Do not be blinded by the small lies that cover these truths like dust settling on a dark wooden table. Take a cloth and wipe it away. Use your faith in him and uncover the victories you are meant to discover.


A truth that he allowed me to discover upon arriving back home:
You are precious. You are divine. You are MINE.


Claim what He has already won right?
Me.
I am claiming me.