Oceans Deep

"I will not bring to the Lord that which costs me nothing."- 1 Chronicles 21:24 

When the most important people, places and things start getting taken away from you, then it is a sign that you are indeed getting closer to Christ. The more we anchor ourselves and our hearts toward God, the more we will be asked to give up the things we value in this world. Why? Because He is not of this world.  Christ took up His cross, so what makes us think that we are exempt from taking up our own?

I've had to let go of some pretty important things in my life; someone that used to bring me emotional and mental security, and a job that secured my future financially. However it is only through this "cleansing" that God has become my one and only source of hope, truth and light. The less grip I have on worldly things, the wider my hands are spread out- the best position for Him to fill it with his love and mercy. The less I carry with me in my heart, the quicker I can get to where He is.

Ever since I've rediscovered God a year and a half ago, I've asked him to show me how to trust Him with every part of me and with every fibre of my being. Be careful of what you ask for because He will answer you in the firmest way possible. Firm but personal.

As of Thursday, June 27 at 4:31pm I will be unemployed. I've been asked to resign due to x, y, and z reasons. I thought I'd have some pretty violent emotional reactions, but to my surprise I feel peace. He is taking away something that means a lot to me. That could only mean that God is asking me to move forward- forward towards something greater. Warning:No baggage policy. The art of detachment being practiced in the most practical way.

The Lord never takes something without replacing it. 

So instead of jumping back into the boat, I will dive. I will dive deeper into the waters. If I will drown, it'll be from his love. If I'll choke it'll be from His relentless giving of compassion and forgiveness. If I lose my breath it'll be from the beautiful unveiling of His plans for me. I am in the here and now. I am exactly where I am meant to be. If I am securely anchored in Christ, I can rest in the knowledge that His Holy Spirit will guide me to the next leg of my spiritual journey.

Being unemployed puts me in a deeper state of spiritual hunger.  Right now He's telling me to focus on the Archdiocese of Toronto and see the opportunities that exist there; this is mission beyond the comforts of my CFC-Youth community. Why not cast the net there? I have nothing to lose.

God sows seeds. If we clear out the clutter in our hearts and minds He will show us exactly where we can reap a fruitful harvest. This is His vineyard. Not ours. Anything and everything we collect belongs to Him.



Ad maiorem Dei gloriam.
To God be the greater glory.

Let Me Take Care

"LET ME TAKE CARE."

This was the last message that resonated so strongly in my heart this past weekend. In less than 12 hours of being back home (on a more permanent basis), the Lord blessed me with an offer for a Full time job. Not only will this job enhance my experience in the program I actually graduated in, it will also allow me to serve fully for my service area here in CFC Youth GTA.

In the past 8 months, I have traveled to 15+ cities in the Philippines, to 4 different states in the U.S. and 3 provinces here in Canada. Within that time I have also attended 4 conferences, 3 which were on a national scale. I served in 2 and participated in 2. This journey began on January 9 with zero plans and a very dried up bank account.

The one line that kept me going: Trust in Me.
The one verse that gave me hope: Jeremiah 29:11.

It was always on the back of my mind that my mission trip would come to an end eventually and that I would have to face reality. After speaking to many of my colleagues in ECE, I knew that the field was saturated. I knew that there may be a possibility that I would be unemployed for a while, or that I may have to settle for a retail job.

But 2.5hrs ago, I was just offered a full time position at a daycare for the sr. preschool classroom at a bilingual centre. I will only be working Mon-Fri which means I will never have to miss out on my household meetings, any assemblies or mission trips during the weekend.

A friend of mine messaged me literally right after the Singles for Christ Conference on Sunday. The position opened up and they needed someone to fill it in ASAP. I start on Tuesday.

WOW.

Our Yes is our personal treasure. It may seem insignificant but it's one of our most powerful possessions, because our yes stems from our choice. No one can force us to give it away, especially not our God.  It is our yes that opens up the door to his infinite amount of blessings. We think WE know best what our needs are, but these standards are based only on what we have seen in our life. Allow the Lord to widen that range of view by giving Him permission to conquer Your life.

It is in your trust that the Lord will reveal not only good things, but GREATER things. I am not lucky. I am BLESSED, because my God has chosen to use me as a beacon of hope to others. Believe that if you give yourself fully to the Lord and surrender your own plans, that He will NOT abandon you. I am no one special- I am not any more loved by the Lord than you are. So do not think that you are exempt from his Promises.

Discovering the Lord is an adventure, and probably the only one that guarantees a happy ending. So give Jesus the wheel, and like me...you may find yourself reaching destinations that you would have never thought possible.

Claim His will and claim His victory in your life.

It's not always about Y-O-U

"I don't know if I can go because I don't have the money..."

is a phrase that I've been hearing so much of lately in regards to events and/or conferences. It's a question that spurs on a mini investigation. A lot of questions run through my head such as:

• How badly do you really wanna go?
• Did you know about this event beforehand?
• How long ago were you informed about the event?
• If so, did you financially prepare yourself for it?
• Did you bother trying to save?
• Have you gone on any other trips lately? Where? How much did you pay for it?
• Do you think you prioritized that more than this?

I do keep in mind that sometimes there are things that happen which are beyond our control. But even then, something can always be done. The most important question that comes to mind really is: HAVE YOU PRAYED ABOUT IT?


Sometimes, well actually all the time, it's never about whether or not YOU can provide for yourself. Faith is knowing that you have a God who can do wonders for you. Faith is knowing that He is of divine providence. It was never about you to begin with! So the next time you consider whether or not you can go, take your question to God first, and don't let it just die with you.

I keep repeating this over and over again, but honestly CLAIM YOUR PRAYERS. CLAIM THAT HE IS THE ALMIGHTY. Know that no matter what your situation is, He will provide. Let Him. Because doubting our Lord's ability to do so is like shutting the door in His face when he knocks.

I can attest to all these things because the Lord provided for me in the Philippines for 6 months despite the fact that I was unemployed. Not only that, he is allowing for me to go on a States-Winnipeg roadtrip in two days. I am able to attend the Canadian YFC national conference not just by myself but with my family. Monday was the last day to reg for the SFC nat'l con in Ottawa (in August). I really didn't want to push it but I just kept it in my prayers everyday and you know what? He's allowing me to attend that too! ALL WITHOUT A JOB.

How is this possible?
Because my God makes it very much possible.

That's the beauty about our relationship with the Lord. Sometimes we don't even do anything yet he still showers us with abundant blessings. He still wants to keep capturing our hearts. He still wants to reach out to us. This is an everyday occurrence.

But first you have to allow yourself to see the ways in which he tries to reach out to you. All he needs is your Yes. Let Him romance you.  He will never force something on you. Seriously He's just waiting for you to open yourself up. Only then will He begin to do wonders for you.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding."

-Proverbs 3:5

Baby, welcome home.

Airplanes suddenly became so interesting to me during this trip. Since I've never stayed more than 3wks in one place for a 6 month period, I just had to learn to love em. My flight yesterday was 23hrs, 10mins in total. I usually get so antsy/panicky that I only use up 6hrs in total for sleeping, but this time it was different. I felt at peace and so calm. I slept through more than half of it and the hours that I spent awake I enjoyed (yum Korean air food and a very lovely old Korean woman seat mate).

A lot of people have seen me cry within the past 72 hrs. Most of the time it's not because I'll miss them (I know I'll be back sooner than later). It's because I've been fearing my return to Canada; how will I integrate the new me into an old life? Yes I left behind a lot of baggage in the Phils. but I also had more to come back to in Toronto. But God is so good that he made sure I would get all the affirmations I needed to believe that as challenging as it will be to be back, I am more than capable of dealing with my skeletons in the closet.

Now the picture above isn't the greatest quality nor is it an artsy-fartsy shot, but it served as the answer to my question.

Moments of profound grace.


The wing of that plane and where it appears in the picture is where God fits into my life. There is the me that hid in darkness, confusion, fear and doubt, but with the Lord now in the centre of my life rest assured I can sigh a big breathe of relief- MORNING IS COMING. No matter how dark I feel my past was and how much ugliness was left behind there is hope that YES, he has purified and cleansed me during this trip. Just as the day is breaking in the sky one day all of it will be filled with light.The plane's wings didn't completely separate the contrasting night/day sky- see how on the far left side, some of the morning is spilling into the night? Beautiful.


There is nothing for me to fear. I always repeat in my blogs and in person that whenever we pray or light up our petitions we shouldn't just ask for it. Instead we should CLAIM that indeed those prayers are already answered. In this way, we show our Lord how great our faith is in Him that even though we don't see the answers yet, they are already there. This world is full of truths that are rooted in faith, love and hope. Do not be blinded by the small lies that cover these truths like dust settling on a dark wooden table. Take a cloth and wipe it away. Use your faith in him and uncover the victories you are meant to discover.


A truth that he allowed me to discover upon arriving back home:
You are precious. You are divine. You are MINE.


Claim what He has already won right?
Me.
I am claiming me.