You will be Captivating to those who are Wild at Heart

Message to all the guys out there: Do you know how many times I've had to confront a guy about their intentions and all I got was a "you shouldn't have assumed in the first place..." THIS is not a valid enough reason to get away with it. Be responsible. PLEASE. If you are NOT planning on courting her or pursuing her, watch your words. More importantly WATCH YOUR ACTIONS. Think twice about what you do/say around a girl. Treat her like a sister. That way, she doesn't end up thinking you mean something else. If you don't make it clear to us ladies what your real motive is then you can be sure that we'll end up assuming. If we're not hearing it from you then you know who we'll hear it from? Our girlfriends. That usually doesn't help..because we don't know any better. If you put it out there, then at least we know it's strictly platonic. We really shouldn't have to question what you mean. If you're a decent guy then your actions will be consistent with your motives.

Message to all the girls out there: If you are ANYTHING like me... stop overthinking! Stop overreacting. Stop assuming. Don't take his caring words and promises too seriously. Don't be drawn in by his charm. Don't think he's all about to get up on it. If he hasn't said anything then DON'T think anything more of it. In short, just try to think of your heart and salvage as much of it as possible by NOT getting caught up so easily.

You know what our worst habit is? Talking to each other about a guy situation and egging each other on about the "feel good" vibes. We live for those "fluffy heart-to-heart" moments. We DIE for those coffee dates where we can just share our latest fling because we know we're going to get a "YOU GO GIRL, DO YOUR THANG!!" kind of reply. Nothing is wrong with being supportive as long as we remind eachother to be cautious. I know it can kill the mood sometimes, but we have GOT to do this more for eachother. Help a sister out by allowing her to see the situation for what it is instead of adding frills and flowers that come with our advice column conversations. OH YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! 

Nothing blinds us more than a guy whose charm has engulfed our being. This is where we really need to stick it out.

#claimingWinnipeg

"Ask, and it will be given to you; 

seek, and you will find; 

knock, and it will be opened to you."

- Matthew 7:7

A few months ago I started my own hashtag on twitter. For those who don't know, the YFC national conference for Canada this year is going to be at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg. After attending the International Leaders Conference in Aklan, I got to meet and know three new Canadians on the #teamtruenorth team. Indeed it was a blessing that I would slowly get to know and establish meaningful relationships with each one of them. For me it felt empowering to have my little Canadian team because I could always look to them for moral support once I flew back home. 


We witnessed God's love together throughout conference. This opportunity allowed us to experience the Almighty as a united group, but by the end of it we would all have our own personal testimonies to share in our own areas. We were only four out of 6000 but the grace, love & mercy of God showed us was enough to set off small "lights"; Canada has been struggling and these stories NEED to be heard.


I remember crying bawling at the airport because it hit me...this may very well be the last time I see them for a very, very, very long time. Annie, CJ, and Tim all live on the West coast while I, the lone wolf, live in the East.

If we were ever to reunite, the best place was conference.

At that time it seemed so impossible for me to attend. I couldn't look past the fact that in order for me to attend I would have to magically find a LOT of free money because I've been here in the Philippines for 5 months (...and counting) with NO job. How the heck was I going to get there? Regardless of my doubts, I still remembered to sneak in #claimingWinnipeg in my prayers.

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Last month I was asked to attend the Provincial Youth Conference in Tuburan, Cebu. That seemed impossible because I didn't have the financial means to buy a ticket, yet my prayers were answered within less a week. Then I was asked to stay for SHOUT and that seemed unlikely because rebooking my flight meant having to dish out more cash, yet I ended up participating (and having the time of my life).

If the Lord was able to provide for these two small events, why was it so hard for me to believe that He would also be able to provide for me back on home turf? 

So what started out as a semi-joke/hopeful thinking turned into a "power" petition. I kept telling myself that Winnipeg was mine to claim. Winnipeg was a victory He had already won for me. 

...AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

Two days ago that prayer was answered. 

Our small "lights" can now unite as one. Together we will help to IGNITE THE FIRE which Canada needs badly right now. The fire that stirs in each one of our hearts will burn bright. So not only do I get to go, but my whole family will be there to witness the whole event as well.

Brothers and sisters, do not ever THINK that anything is bigger than our God. This whole trip, this whole mission of mine has been a testimony that God is the ONLY one who can provide for you. He will give you everything you deserve and more.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO...
is say 'Yes'.


It's such a simple act, yet so many of us find it hard to do. 
Sacrificing something dear to you only means that there are even greater opportunities to receive something even better. It is with that promise that you should believe in His ability to grant you your heart's desire(s). 

I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.

If you were placed in a situation where someone asked you to jump off a ledge with no safety harness or protective gear, would you?

Everyone who knows me, knows that I am the meticulous, analytical, overly cautious type of person. I do not take risks unless all relevant factors and/or consequences have been examined- twice. I thrive in security. I thrive in knowing that I have control in a situation. This is so apparent in even the smallest of things: I colour coordinate my laundry, I use at least four different coloured pens when writing notes, I never bend the pages of my book, I bring a suitcase for a weekender. These are my "simple joys", the things I can do to bring more "order" in my life.

With all the things that the Lord has provided me during the past few months I feel so underserving. Who am I that He makes me feel important? Who am I that He choose me out all the other active YFC members in the community to go on mission? Why did he choose to stir my heart when I had given up so many years earlier?

Now I know why- because my conviction is much stronger. It is within the extreme experiences where my declaration finds its anchor in the Lord. I am one of the extremely favoured. He has chosen me knowing full well both my strengths and my weaknesses.

Cebu holds a special place in my heart. It is here in Kusugbo* that the Lord has decided to groom me for my purpose, a purpose that he has been consistently asking me to claim. It is within this place that He has revealed himself to me. This is where he has revealed to me the greatest desire in my heart. In the last two months I have denied myself of that purpose. I allowed myself to drown out the vision in my mission because I wanted to avoid it. Is this really what the Lord has been calling me for?

My biggest fear was that my YES would mean giving up many things that I highly valued and that were close to my heart. It is through my prayers that the Lord has told me: My child, your heart will continue to be restless until it rests in Me your God. Let go of the fears and anxiety you have in your heart because it is only I who can give you the peace of mind you have been desiring all your life. Do you think that I will abandon you if you chose to devote your life to me? No! Of course not. See how abundant the blessings in your life are with every step closer you take towards me? You are my beloved. I will not forsake you. Your life will be simple but you will discover and become exactly who you are meant to be. This is my purpose for you. Nothing else will satisfy this thirst.

It is only in my nothingness where the Lord can become my everything.

I alone know the plans that I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future that you hope for. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me and I will answer you. You will seek me and you will find me because you will seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13,
The Verse of my Life.

*Kusugbo= Kusug (strong) 
                 Sugbo (Cebu)

Let me serve you, let me fight for your love.

The picture below depicts where I'm at with my service.

Our God is a God of providence. That's what I keep telling myself. This is what He has been challenging me with the past week...to really trust in His ability to provide for me.

I attended a household meeting with YFC Cebu leaders last night and the topic of PYC came up. Basically, they will be holding their conference on the weekend of May 26-May 27. That happens to be my birthday weekend. There are other things that will be going on that specific week. I started to panic when they asked me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that God was very literally asking me to choose between two of the greatest desires in my heart. As obvious as the answer to me was, I still found myself hesitating.

Despite the unworthiness I feel, I find the Lord calling me out....still. He is asking me to give Him my time, my effort and my trust. He has stirred my heart and reminded me that I do have a purpose here in the Philippines. I spent the first half of my trip in a state of chaos and confusion. I questioned why I even allowed myself to spend so much time on "vacation". I mean, I pretty much came out here on a whim. Nothing but a vision a year ago that I needed to travel here. He wanted me to discover something great. I doubted him many times within the past three months, but, I feel that the time is NOW. I have to answer His call. How can I deny Him when He has done nothing but shower me with blessings?

I mean, when it rains...brothers & sisters it POURS.

The only thing standing between me and a full YES is approximately Pxxxx- the cost of a ticket from Manila to Cebu.

I know somehow the Lord will provide financially. I'm already halfway through the battle, because someone has already offered to help me with HALF of  the cost...all within 24hrs of being asked to serve!

Lord, may I never lose sight of my mission here. Continue to humble me throughout my trip and allow me to meet the right people- people who will bring me closer to you and strengthen my faith. Surround me with people whose purpose is like mine. May we come together and grow in faith. Continue to draw me closer to where you are...I want to be with you.

All glory and praise to His name.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

One thing I've started to rediscover during my trip here in the Philippines is my essence as a woman. What in the world do I need to be in order to be respected, to be treasured and most importantly to be loved? Like me, so many of the women today are confused. They are confused because of the way that our societies have chosen to define what and how a woman should be. She should be kind, generous, caring and loving. But then she should also be fearless, aggressive, strong, and the most commonly used definition lately:  independent. 

Apparently that's the most IMPORTANT part: In order to be a "REAL" woman, you need to realize that you do not need a man in your life. Heck, it's all about flower power. You're a woman? So what! You can make your own money, own your own house, drive your own luxury car and climb that career ladder of yours! You're just as great as the next man across from you. Go ahead, tell all the men in your life you're so much better than them.

But that's not why the Lord made us.

"The essence of a man is Strength. A man is meant to be the incarnation- our experience in human form- of our Warrior God. A God who comes through for us." 

Women today strive to be something they are not. We were never made to be like our male counterparts. We will never be like the men in our life, nor should we want to be. Now before I share with you what a woman should offer the world, let me first ask you a simple question.

What was the LAST thing the Lord created on this Earth?

Think about it....

The last thing our God made was woman. 

Has it hit you yet? The profoundness of that very fact? If we see value and beauty in His creations like the mountains, the seas and the animals then why is it so hard for us to see our value and our beauty as a woman? 

WE ARE HIS MASTERPIECE. 

We are the crowning glory. 

We are the cherry on top of that sundae.

So now I can tell you that, "the essence of a woman is beauty. She is meant to be the incarnation- our experience in human form- of a Captivating God."

When I read that in Captivating I was blown away. It took a moment to register. My goodness how was I so blind these past 23 years? How could I let my society devalue me? How did I let so many people tell me I was worth nothing, that I wasn't worth it? That was when I started to not only see but accept what the Lord wanted me to claim this whole time: that as a woman, I am precious.

Lord, grabe ka talaga! You know me and the needs of my heart. You have found a way for me to physically experience Your love...I mean, what better way to affirm my essence as a woman & my worth as Your daughter than to send me such STRONG brotherly companionship here in the Philippines? He has blessed me with so many male counterparts to guide, protect and to walk with me as I grow in my faith journey with Him halfway around the world. What are the chances that I'd have so many of my CANADIAN brothers join me?! First Miguel, Timothy, and Cj. Pretty soon I'll be joined by Julius. And right on time for my birthday, the Biaco brothers Paul & Mitch. These brothers and their presence in my life has been God's reminder to me: that I am His princess.

A man, if he is of God, should help you to discover your beauty as a woman. He will treasure your heart. He will seek out your presence and fight for your love.

So as a woman, yes I do believe we need a man in our life.

Semana Santo

What does it mean to be out of your comfort zone?

This lenten season is the first one in twenty-two years that I've spent away from my family, away from what I've learned to accept as my "home" in Canada. I've done more self-reflecting within the past month than I ever have in the past few years. The Lord has spoken so many times to me during this trip and at first I found it hard to hear him. I know it was my fault. I had steered so far away from my journey, from the mission that he entrusted me with eleven months ago. One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that our God is not an aggressive or boisterous one. He is quiet, he is calm, he is benevolent.

"Longer"

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean

Higher than any bird ever flew

Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heaven

I’ve been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral

Truer than any tree ever grew

Deeper than any forest primeval

I am in love with you.

  -Dan Fogelberg

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The way in which our God loves us. May this serve as a reminder for you. I pray that someday, if not already, you will see just how greatly He wants you to come back to Him. The Lord's love for you is everywhere. You just have to see beyond what the world is projecting. Look beyond materials, look beyond man-made creations. He exists in all the things He created (especially within every person you encounter regardless of how unpleasant they may seem).

It takes a lot more effort to see God in everything and everyone, but I promise you once you learn how to do it, you will begin to see just how great his love is for you. I'm still learning (far far from being perfect) YET I'm already so overwhelmed by the goodness of it! 

The Lord's love for me manifests itself in the sky. Regardless of where I am in the world, the one thing that stays consistent within my sight is that very thing. Day or night, the sky always extends far beyond what my eyes can see. I will never forget that night I spent at Bantayan when I was just sitting under the stars. Moments of profound grace. It was such an intimate moment for me, as if the Lord was saying:

This is how much I have loved you. You are more precious and worth so much more than the beauty of the stars at night. Try to count how many there are, and triple that number. That is how many times I will try to capture your attention when you stray away from me. See how brightly they shine? That is how I see you. What a lovely sight to behold. Remember that as a daughter of Eve you can still claim your place as the crown of creation. This moment I have designed specifically for you. This moment is yours alone, but I'm allowing you to share it as well with the one around you. Treasure this memory. Let it remind you to never give up on me. As long as the sky exists above you, so too will my love surround you.